Saturday, February 9, 2008

Jarrett Denton Dixon


The Dixon family about 1968.


Jerry and Mary Alice Dixon congratulate Alyson Hostetler

What a name!

I always loved Dad's first name, and still wonder where the "Denton" came from. Mom will know.

My dad, always known to others as Jerry, was a good man.

Born at the beginning of the depression (1929), he succumbed to an unusual and unexpected disease, called Wegener's, at the age of 77 (2006). Wegener's is basically an autoimmune disease, and sometimes can be survived, but there is no known cure. The cause is unknown, but infection is suspected. Dad had several prostate surgeries in the last 5 years of his life. In dad's case, his age and the fact that the disease took so long to diagnose (not unusual or the fault of doctors), didn't give him much of a chance. He was sick for 6-9 months, and didn't feel really well during that time, but didn't have many complaints about pain or other symptoms until near the end. Johns Hopkins is the leading center trying to figure out Wegener's and other similar diseases. Hospice, as usual, helped a lot for the short time we needed them. He died within a day of confirmation that nothing could be done to save him and of bringing him home. Aunt Wilma and Uncle Warren were able to spend the last day with us, which helped us as well as Dad.

What's so unexpected about dying at 77? He was a the most fit person in our family, having decided to clean up his act healthwise at the age of 38... he quit smoking, and started running and working out at the YMCA. He went to the YMCA 3 days per week for the rest of his life.

My Dad loved his job. He loved us too, but worked long hours and was very loyal to Delco-Remy and General Motors. He felt he owed them that loyalty. The company was good to him, and therefore to us. Mom wasn't happy when they actually sent him to New Jersey for 6 months when we were teenagers, even though he was able to fly home every weekend. After we left home, he was sent to Meridian, Mississippi several times for months at a time, but mom was at least able to go with him. They lived at the Holiday Inn in Meridian!

Dad was a process engineer, and I couldn't tell you what that really means. Perhaps Jay and Uncle Don can help explain it more. I know that he designed and was a troubleshooter on large machines called presses, that stamped out auto parts from inch thick metal slugs. The work was sometimes dirty and loud. Dad, like lots of our parents who worked in industry, lost a good part of his hearing and was trying to use hearing aids during his last year. Dad also had a dominant Dixon trait, "selective hearing", which I have also inherited. It's part of our genius. And Teri doesn't like it any more than mom!

I remember Dad playing with us a few times when we were little boys, but most of the time he was working or probably tired from working. He did make a few of our little league and high school games. I remember that he was (suddenly) a very enthusiastic supporter of my high school football team my senior year. I think maybe he knew there wouldn't be many more chances to do that. I made a decision to be much more active in my kids lives, and I think it was a good decision. I didn't feel slighted as a kid, but imagine that he may have regretted missing so much of our childhood years.

Dad, like his dad before him, was extraordinarily even-tempered. I don't really ever remember seeing him lose his temper. Mom tells a story about the only time he raised his voice to her. She broke a compact (cosmetic), which was an expensive thing for her at the time, and she threw it on the bathroom floor in disgust. He apparently yelled at her to pick it up. That was it for my Dad's temper.

Dad wasn't a big spender, and could drive a car to death. Mom would make him trade cars every 8 or 9 years. He bought a basic car when he bought one. (He did buy new, which was interesting.) I remember riding with him in the Corvair during my high school years when the floorboard on the driver's side had rusted through and there was a square foot sized hole so you could see the pavement! And he had bought that car new when they first came out!
Dad loved to eat breakfast and read the paper each morning. The breakfast was always the same... peanut butter on toast. He did like to go to McDonalds with one of us boys later on and he would eat pancakes... with 3 containers of syrup! He also loved their coffee. He would stop by and get a cup on the way into the Y before his workout. I think he thought the caffeine helped the workout.

Dad was very well respected among the men he worked with. Many of them worked with him, and occasionally under his supervision, when he was working on a project. We were always very proud of the way that these men approached him and treated him with such obvious respect when we would meet them in a restaurant or around town. Dad obviously enjoyed working with them also. It was a surprise that he seemed to know so many men, also.

My dad's social life was arranged by mom, and bridge was a big part of it. Their bridge club was a regular thing, and they developed lifelong friendships that still impress me. Mom still plays regularly with some of these ladies (and Aunt Lois). The bridge club included Rod and Joy Skiles, Ted and Sally Lacey (Brian Lacey's parents and thus cousin Joni's in-laws), Dick and Patti Roberts before they moved to Washington state, and then Larry and Janet Shively. Dad enjoyed talking with the husbands during their bridge parties, and he liked the guys, but the real basis of the club was the friendship among the ladies. I think like lots of men, his close friendships centered around those he worked with every day. I also picked up this trait, as most of my friends were co-workers or former co-workers.

Dad had a couple (or few) childhood friends, but didn't meet with them regularly. Ditto for me. I know Don Gallamore was one fellow that he grew up with and remained friends with for a lifetime. Yet I don't recall Don ever coming to our house or us going to his home. David Given was a good friend from high school, and also from years together at Delco. I do remember mom and dad getting together with David and his wife Barb when we were kids. Mom also says that Dad was a good friend of Carl Livingston from Delco, but I know nothing about him and don't ever recall meeting him.

Dad didn't seem as close to his family as some of the other family members seemed to be. He did help our grandmother Della after he retired and checked on her every other day or so. He liked his siblings and parents, but he just didn't feel the need to be around them that often. I know that my mom's relationship with her parents seemed much closer, and it was reflected in the time we spent with them as children. I wonder if it's common for a family to be closer to the mother's parents and extended family?

Dad was a great swimmer. He worked at the YMCA when he was a teenager and tried out for the swim team at Purdue. I don't know if Anderson High School had a swim team back then. He talked about cleaning the pool at the YMCA... the old one that was still in use when we were small kids and was turned into the "small gym" or "upstairs gym" when we were teens... with a scrub brush by holding his breath and diving to the bottom. Dad could swim farther under water than anyone I've ever seen in person. His swimming seemed effortless. Like Jay hitting a golf ball. Mom recalls Dad challenging my niece Rachel, Jay's daughter, to swim races. Until she started beating him at a relatively young age! Rachel was a great high school swimmer at Highland and for the local swim club.
I think his reconnection to the Y was very important to him after we left home. I remember he always came home with a smile on his face after a workout, and didn't really seem as tired. Of course, he was in better shape! He ran up to 5 miles per workout, and was still running 2-3 miles per workout in his mid 60's. He ran on the YMCA track... 52 laps per mile... and never had an interest in running outside even in the best of weather. He had his routine!

Mom had to threaten dad to get him to travel when they were older, but he really seemed to enjoy the trips they took. He was especially happy with the Australia trip. They went to many destinations with a travel club they joined, called Ambassadair. They went to China, Alaska, the Panama Canal, and most of the Caribbean. He and mom went to Aruba every December for 27 years. (I accompanied mom once on the Aruba trip since dad passed, and we plan to go again in April '08.) They also would take trips to Las Vegas and Elko to gamble, although they never risked much at the tables or slots. For a Dixon to gamble at all was quite a surprise!

Speaking of gambling, Dad's main hobby after retirement was investing. He was fairly successful, and was always refining "systems" that helped him decide when to invest. He invested in stocks, not mutual funds like many of us do today. Todd learned quite a bit about stock investing from dad. Dad started investing in stocks by purchasing GM shares at work in the employee stock plan. There's a lesson for future generations there! Another lesson, and the probable reason for his studying the investing field, is that he knew better than to leave the money in GM stock (the stock of the company that he worked for and relied upon for his pension) forever... thank goodness!

There was a fellow named Don Merritt that he teamed with in his investing hobby. I got to meet Don and his wife when we went to tell him that dad had passed. They lived in a very modest house in Meadowbrook. Don knew computers, and taught dad enough that he could send and print out emails the last few years. Of course, he got a new computer from Compuserve for free (well, almost free) in a deal that Todd discovered. Dixon's!

Dad was an engineer, but didn't really like working with his hands. He definitely didn't like to do small repairs around the home. The problem was that he was too cheap to pay someone else to come and do the jobs either. Procrastination in home repair is a trait I have inherited. Teri's dad is a fixer, and thankfully Teri inherited that trait. She does all of our minor repairs. I don't hesitate to call someone in when she can't handle it!

Dad didn't encourage us to enter his field of work. Although Jay always leaned that direction and became a millwright, I don't think it was due to any encouragement from Dad. I always thought it was odd that he would love something so much, yet not encourage us at all to follow in his footsteps. Especially when engineering would always be in demand and sustain a good life. I always wondered if he thought it was too dangerous. I only remember one occasion when we toured the factory. They held an open house and had cleaned everything up.

Dad gave a deposition in a civil trial at one point. I discovered a copy of the deposition in the stack of books and papers that mom pulled out after dad died. Reading the deposition gives a glimpse into the kind of work he did. I had to give depositions, and sit in as the employer's representative several other times, in my work with the school district. A deposition is a good historical source to locate. In this particular suit, a GM supplier was suing GM because they thought that GM had given trade secrets to a third party ( I assume they thought that GM was trying to develop another source for the product and therefore drive down the price). Dad explained in the deposition that GM and their suppliers in the engineering field always shared information with each other and there was always collaboration when doing that kind of work. I have no idea how the lawsuit came out. I never knew he was involved until discovering the deposition.

One of the things Dad looked forward to was the shop parties that the guys had at Killbuck Lodge. It was apparently the one (or two) time(s) each year that they could play cards, eat fish, and drink beer. He didn't come home drunk!

Dad worked 37 years for GM. I was shocked when he accepted early retirement at age 59. ( I was even more shocked when Uncle Jim and Uncle Don retired at even younger ages!) I really thought he would at least go to work for one of the suppliers that knew his skills. Surprisingly, he seemed quite comfortable in retirement. With the investing hobby, his workouts, more trips with mom (including some more to Florida) and checking on Mammaw Dixon, he managed to keep busy. I would buy him biographies for Christmas and birthdays and he seemed to enjoy reading them. There's a collection at mom's if anyone is interested. Adams, Hamiltion, Lincoln, Truman, etc.

Dad met mom in high school. They were both in the class of '47. I was always amazed at the size of their high school class... well over 500 graduates! They loved planning and going to their class reunions and remained friends with their classmates for life. Many of us fail to take advantage of this opportunity. Teri and I were classmates at Highland, by the way. We've been to several reunions, but the class did not hold one for our 35th year.

They lived in town in apartments for a couple of years (one is on Madison Avenue, not far from the White River). Their first house was next door to the one we grew up in. I was actually born when they were in the first house. That house was demolished eventually and another was built on the site.

We grew up in a red brick ranch at 2833 Alexandria Pike. There was a large unmowed field to the north and the Myers gravel pit across the street. Homes have since been built on the "waterfron property" where the gravel pit operated. Mr. David Jack, my high school Geometry teacher, bought the house when my parents moved to Wooded Ridge addition. Mr. Jack lives there with his wife today. I stopped by with mom a year ago and he invited us in for a tour. It was amazing how small the house was. Not at all like I remember. Yet all of the details were the same. They had not changed the house at all, except for paint and some flooring.


4 comments:

RaisingBoys said...

One of the fondest memories I have of Grandpa Jerry was the last time he came to visit us down in Florida. He was holding my oldest son, Elliot, for the first time, when all of a sudden Elliot looked up at him and smiled -- his first smile. Right after that, Elliot pee'd on Grandpa!
-Sarah (Dixon) Sain

Lee Dixon said...

My mom hasn't had a chance to read the blog yet, but she mentioned something that I thought was neat. It turns out Grandpa Fisher came all the way to Anderson for the wedding of my parents. He gave my dad a wedding present... a pair of socks! I guess that "thrifty" trait of Mammaw Dixon's was inherited. I think it shows the difference between a rural life in much harder times and the relatively easier suburban life that many of us have lived since the boomer years.

Lee Dixon said...

My dad loved saltine crackers. Every chance he had to get some free saltines from a restaurant, he loaded up. He also was a proponent of the "vaseline and cracker sandwich". He tried to convince anyone (under the age of 10) that the vaseline and cracker sandwich would not only be tasty, but protect you from untold number of diseases.

My dad also loved a good practical joke. Most of these happened at Delco, of course. David Given was a good friend of dad's who also worked with him for several years. David apparently had a habit of stealing the twinkies out of the other fellows lunch pails. One day, dad and the others replaced the cream inside a set of twinkies in a co-workers lunch pail, then watched David Given eat half of one of the twinkies... rolling in the aisle of the cafeteria the entire time... and finally had to stop him for fear that he would become sick. Apparently, he really loved twinkies!

Dad also loved milk, and drank at least one glass every day. He always ate the evening meal without drinking anything, and then finished with a tall glass of milk. He told my wife Teri that you could survive forever eating only peanut butter and toast with milk to drink as they were the perfect foods.

Lee Dixon said...

My dad loved saltine crackers. Every chance he had to get some free saltines from a restaurant, he loaded up. He also was a proponent of the "vaseline and cracker sandwich". He tried to convince anyone (under the age of 10) that the vaseline and cracker sandwich would not only be tasty, but protect you from untold number of diseases.

My dad also loved a good practical joke. Most of these happened at Delco, of course. David Given was a good friend of dad's who also worked with him for several years. David apparently had a habit of stealing the twinkies out of the other fellows lunch pails. One day, dad and the others replaced the cream inside a set of twinkies in a co-workers lunch pail with hand soap, then watched David Given eat half of one of the twinkies... rolling in the aisle of the cafeteria the entire time... and finally had to stop him for fear that he would become sick. Apparently, he really loved twinkies!

Dad also loved milk, and drank at least one glass every day. He always ate the evening meal without drinking anything, and then finished with a tall glass of milk. He told my wife Teri that you could survive forever eating only peanut butter and toast with milk to drink as they were the perfect foods.